Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I am

I am the reason I am on this road today.  I am the reason that my life is in array.  I am the reason that I sit up late at night a cry.  I am the reason why I wonder how we will get by.  I am the reason that my children move around so much.  I am the reason why I feel I always need a crutch.  I am the reason why today I feel the way I do.  I am the reason why I think I have some things to prove. 
I need to stop feeling the need to depend on others to get through life.  I have never...and I mean never been where I am at right now.  This very moment.  I am taking it in, remember how crappy this feels and moving forward as positively as I can.  I have finally been able to put together a porfolio of ideas for what I am going to do.  And I have to say I am very excited!  Craft show season is coming up and I am hoping that between those, Etsy and putting my name out there that orders start flowing. 
This pretty much sums up what I am thinking at this very moment. 
One night I had a dream--
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
"I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
"When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

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