Tuesday, August 23, 2011

When life gives you lemons....


All kidding aside life isn't always fair and it is far from easy.  This journey called my life has taken me on a path that I would have never expected.  I never in a million years would have thought that my life would be where it is today.  And what I don't get is 14 years ago I had a wonderful life, a loving husband, a new baby and great friends and family.  My marriage ended horribly, I've had numerous bad relationships, I worked hard to get somewhere all to have the stupid economy destroy everything I worked hard for.  And now....I feel like all I have to show is my two beautiful children.

I really try to be that person that learns the lessons that need to be learned when something crappy happens, and use them to make myself a better person.  I just don't understand how once something goes wrong....EVERYTHING goes wrong.  I am tired.  I am ready for amazing!  ::peeks around the corner:: Guess it isn't here yet. 

I want so much for my children and find that everytime I try to do better.  I slip and fall a little further away from my goal.  This time, we are slipping....again...further.  And I swear this will not defeat me.  It will not bring me down and it will make me stronger.  Now, if I only knew where to start. 

Optomisim is the place to start...I think.  So where do I find me some of that, because I am pretty sure I am quickly becoming a pesimist and I don't like it.  They say when one door closes another opens.  I feel like I am Alice looking through the key hole with now way to get to what is on the other side.

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